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Okay, so back to that guy I mentioned in my last post.  Here’s an abbreviated, but pretty accurate replay of the conversation we had last Friday:

him – “Are you still seeing the same guy?”
me  – “No, not anymore”
him – “Are you seeing someone else?”
me  – “no”
him – “how come?”
me  – “I don’t know, I guess there just aren’t any single guys in Nashville.”
him – “sure there are, maybe your standards are too high.”
me  – “Yes, my standards are no kids under 16, no cats, no alcoholics.”
him  – “Ha, yeah, no cats.
me  –  “I’m serious and not just because I’m allergic.”
him  – “No, I get it, 40 year old dude, lives alone, except for his three cats.  Yeah, that guy is not dateable.”
me  – “Right?”
(Let me interject here that I’ve known this guy casually for about 3 or 4 years and he has a 6 year old daughter and I’m pretty sure he’s married.  Or I was.)
him – “So you don’t date at all.”
me  – “Well, I’ve already been married once, and I don’t want kids, so I guess I have time to be picky.”
him – “You don’t want to get married again?”
me  – “I’m not against it, I’m just not planning for it or looking for it.”
him – “Yeah, I don’t think I’d get married again.”
me  – “Yeah.”
him – “Maybe I’d marry for money.”
me  – “Well, sure.”
him – “Or for foreign citizenship.”
me  – “Definitely.”
him – “We should go for drinks sometime.”
me  – “Okay, sure.”   (I swear, it was like a Jedi mind trick, by this point I was just agreeable.)

So I was pretty sure this guy was married (or still married, since I”d met his wife a while back and hadn’t heard differently) and that he was asking me out platonically, just a social hang.  But then the more I thought about it, I started to feel unsure.  And weird because I wouldn’t have agreed to go if I thought he meant like an actual date.

So last night I did go out for a drink with him and now I’m still confused, but in a different way.

It wasn’t a date.  He did pick me up, and walk me to my door after, but he didn’t buy my drinks.  He is married, happily I’d guess (though we mostly talked about me).  He did not make a move on me.  He did ask me lots of questions about myself and what I want out of life (in that way I associate with guys feeling you out on the first date, whether they are actually curious or just think they are supposed to pretend to listen to you talk).  He recommended me some self-help-y Buddhist books, he gave me a detailed pep-talk on how amazing I am and smart and how I would always land on my feet and I could go anywhere and do anything.  And then he told me to call him any time if I just wanted to hang out.  I feel confused and like maybe my friends put him up this, except I don’t have any friends that would do that.

Seriously though, at what point does some random acquaintance show up, recognize that you need to get out more, take you out, gently prod you about what direction you need to go in life (I was telling a friend recently that part of my problem is that I don’t have life goals the way I used too and last night, like the second thing this guy asked me was what my goals were and then proceeded to tell me that I should always have goals even if they changed every day or were unattainable–which is exactly how I feel and why I realized it felt weird that I didn’t have any), and then give you a massive, unsolicited pep talk about making change and moving forward in your life?

So there’s still time for me to meet my goal of meeting one new person, but I’m counting this encounter as that anyway, because I guess I just made a new friend?

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