I think maybe I’m running on cycle of: Feel fine > do too much > break down > reset/recuperate > feel fine > do too much > &c.   I slept horribly last night.  I feel weepy and overwrought this morning. I have a million things I mean to get done in the next 36 hours, but I think I’m in the rest/recuperate part of the cycle.  Or moving toward it from current or impending break down.

What I really need is someone to come cuddle me up and stroke my hair and tell me I’m pretty.  Alas there’s no one in this time zone that I’d feel comfortable asking to/letting do that.  So I guess it’s hard focused determination to have a positive mental attitude and fucking suck it up and move forward.  Because sometimes that’s all there is.  Some days there just isn’t touchy-feely loving healing available.  It’s not bad though, sometimes part of the process is burning it down and building it back up, right?

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